Various Qualities and Differences among the Sexes
There is a very famous book available at any bookstore, online book retailer or your local library that is worth a look at some point. It is called Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus by John Gray. The book is a wonderful attempt to explain the natural differences between men and women. The author’s point in his book is to basically help men and women to acknowledge, understand and accept these differences before they can move on and enjoy fuller, happier relationships. Mr. Gray offers a spirited look at these differences that are intended to explain these differences so that men and women might be able to adjust their thinking so that they find it easier to understand intentions and meaning behind thought processes and actions.
The first step in understanding the differences between men and women is to acknowledge that there are, in fact, differences between the sexes especially in the way that they communicate with each other. Men simply do not think the way that women do and women simply do not think the way that men do. For example, if a woman declares that she would like to go out to dinner and a movie her husband would most likely not think of her idea as a romantic one. He is more likely to immediately think about how much a night out will cost and become stressed about it. When a man gives a woman risqué lingerie, he is thinking about how wonderful she will look in it. A woman is more likely to think that he is trying to get her to look like a prostitute. The use of the word romance can be quite slippery as well with a woman using romance to refer to love while a man usually infers sex when he refers to romance. Be careful and clarify intentions before things go too far.
When you are buying lingerie for your husband, keep in mind that it is for him. You are buying it to thrill and to please him. Choose colors that you know he will like. Studies show that while women prefer pastel coloured lingerie, men prefer to see their women in red and black lingerie. Make sure that the lingerie is truly chose for your spouse and not just what makes you happy.
Women have a natural habit of complaining that is and has been referred to for decades as ‘nagging’. Women need to stop nagging, no matter what the cause of the nag. Men tend to be quite judgmental. Women do not want to be judged or corrected. They also resent any type of conversation that resembles a lecture. She doesn’t want or need it and will end up resenting you for it.
Instead of focusing on the conflict of nature between men and women, focus on the wonderful attributes each partner has to bring into the relationship. Talk more, listen better and make fewer assumptions. Also, try to appreciate your spouse for more than just his or her differences. Appreciate him or her for the good that they bring to your marriage.